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It seemed fitting somehow that in the end he'd return here.

He had been everywhere. He had traveled the far corners of the world, gazed upon monuments, discovered wellsprings of knowledge and so many different people. He found lives that were just beginning, lives on the rise, lives that were crumbling, lives that had ended ages ago.

He found the world, but none of it was his.

So he searched and searched, and before he knew it though the buildings were unfamiliar and the faces just as alien, there were people who recognized him. He found a life he'd forgotten, a sobbing family that had been missing him for years, a sister who still cried for him sometimes and a job that had left him stabbed in the back. He found a name and an apartment and a cat that had supposedly gone on to his grandparents and everything that counted as a life.

But it wasn't right because it wasn't his anymore.

He had searched the world and found nothing, and as his search ended he found his feet had lead him again to that familiar town. Before he knew it he found himself passing familiar buildings and stepping through familiar streets, found his eyes gazing at the empty lot where a certain apartment complex used to be. He found so many things that felt strangely right even though they were no longer his, and it was this thought that brought him to the graveyard once again.

So he stands there in the sun, coat hunched up over his shoulders and fedora pulled low and he can almost imagine the voice telling him he looks like a detective. That almost makes him smile as he stands there with his hands shoved in his pockets, gazing down at the name carved in stone. After a few minutes of watching he finally kneels down before the grave, gloved fingers brushing across that name.

He doesn't know what to say. He still wants to apologize and of course he knows that's stupid because it's not his fault and Hanna would say so. He wants so badly to tell Hanna all about everything he found, to tell him and perhaps get the redhead to understand how incredibly lost he feels now because he truly has nowhere to go. He wants to say so many things but he knows it's silly because of course Hanna can't talk back.

In spite of this, however, he does take a deep, shuddering breath that he doesn't need so he can begin. "Hanna--"

"Ghallahad?"

The undead man's shoulders stiffen at the sound of that voice, his eyes widening. It couldn't be!

"Ghallahad, oh my God, it is you!"

He stands and turns just in time to be struck with something that was roughly the equivalent of a sack of feathers, wiry arms closing around him so tightly he thought for sure he'd snap. that voice is in his ears, babbling excitedly, and he still can't believe it and what is going on!?

"Hanna?" He finally sputters as he pushes the redhead away.

The man in question beams up at him, still looking no older than twelve with those same bright eyes and wide grin. "The one and only!"

"....You're dead," Ghallahad points out, half-thinking that he is clearly dreaming even though he hasn't slept since his own death. No, he has to be dreaming, and surely by mentioning this fact the spell would be broken.

But no, the redhead doesn't vanish, he merely stands there and beams. "Yeah, I know, isn't it great?" He asks, gesturing down at himself. It's then that it clicks for the zombie that that thin chest isn't rising and falling and more importantly, Hanna's skin has a green tint to it that clashes with his hair rather horrendously and gives him the appearance of some sort of reverse oompa-loompa.

Ghallahad just sort of stares and blinks, which only seems to spur Hanna on. "I mean, seriously, I never realized how lucky you were! I don't get tired anymore, no more sweating and seriously sweating is gross anyway and yeah I guess the dry rot is kinda gross but I have this worm who lives in my galbladder now and I named him Phil and he's really pretty nice and--"

"...Why?" Hanna's friend finally interrupts him, still gaping.

Hanna's face fell slightly. "What? Is there a problem?"

"I... no... I just...." Ghallahad shook his head violently, then blinked. "You're dead." He repeats, wincing as if he expects the second proclamation to send Hanna way.

But Hanna is still there and he's smiling gently up at his zombie friend. "Oh Ghallahad, I thought for sure you would have figured it out by now!" With those words his small, now green hand reaches out to grasp the older zombie's tie and pull him down to his level. Ghallahad had no time to really react, his gasp of shock cut off by the redhead planting a soft kiss on his dead lips.

After a moment the two parted, breathless (though really, that was standard for the undead), Hanna gazing up into his friend's eyes. "I know you love me, Ghallahad. Don't try to deny it, I've always known. Why else would you have protected me in that theater from that ghost and carried me princess style after only knowing me for a few days if you didn't clearly love me?"

"I..." Ghallhad trailed off, blinking. Did he love Hanna that way? He'd always seen himself as just being protective of Hanna because Hanna was his best friend, and really his only friend. However, he supposed the more he considered it, the more he realized the desire had clearly always been lurking, hidden within his long dead heart. Except dead wasn't the right word, because Hanna had jumpstarted his heart as if he were some sort of redhaired defibrillator and now he swore his heart was figuratively beating.

Beating with love.

"Yes Hanna... I've always loved you," The zombie murmured, his voice rumbling in his chest as he reached out tentatively to twine long green fingers through red curls. "But how could I have said anything? I am dead, and you are alive... so our love was forbidden."

Hanna beamed as he leaned in closer. "I know, Ghallahad. I've always known. And I've always loved you too. I thought for sure with all the random stripping and the crane flirting thing would have made you understand, but..." He bit his lip and shook his head. "Alas, it was never meant to be. But no more!" At these words he reached out and grabbed at the back of his zombie partner's (and oh how much more meaning that word held now!) shirt, gazing up into those glowing orange eyes with obviously longing.

"Indeed," There was a smile on the zombie's face. "Our love is no longer forbidden."

Hanna let out a gasp of delight. "Kiss me, my zombie boyfriend!"

Ghallahad, never one to deny Hanna of anything, swept the redhead off of his tiny, sneakered girly feet and the two made out passionately. Their long dead tongues clashed in an epic battle of saliva and pure passion, Hanna's small hands gripping violently at fistfuls of Ghallhad's shirt as his zombie boyfriend held him close.

And so they two lived (or rather, unlived), happily ever after. Granted, there was still the maggot problem, but they don't like to talk about that.
Unfair: [link]
Apathy: [link]
Lost [link]
Typical: [link]
Fair Enough: [link]
Epilogue: Behold!

And now for something completely different~! :iconimhappyplz:

Well, you guys asked for something happy. And I know how much all of you write slash, because God knows this is all our fandom is. Therefore, I felt it necessary to oblige all the people who enjoyed my collection of depressing crap so much. I think it's my best work and clearly brings the whole "Hanna DeathFic" collection to its perfect conclusion. You can thank my boyfriend, he encouraged me to write it.

Also if any of you think this is anything but satire and pure crack, especially after the "like a reverse oompa-loompa" line, I am kind of appalled.

Characters, as always, belong to :iconvert-is-ninja:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmermandingo:
mermandingo Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2011
This was hilarious! It totally reminds me of that "Oh, Mister Darcey!" comic from Hark a Vagrant.
Reply
:iconkittengrl39:
Kittengrl39 Featured By Owner May 26, 2011
Actually, I was good with the whole thing until the kiss. And this is coming from a dedicated slash fan. Not that I don't love this pairing, but everything from that point on was pure crack, and before that it was actually kind of touching. We're all - strike that, most of us are suckers for happy or bittersweet endings.
Reply
:iconenibelle:
EniBelle Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010
At first I was like, "Wait, this can't be serious, it's too sappy and 'yay-everything-works-out'..." :iconzombiewthplz:
But then I continued reading and I LOL'D. :iconhannalolplz:
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010
Hahaha, glad you liked it.
Reply
:iconskippy-the-demon:
Skippy-the-Demon Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
At first I was all like, "this is gonna be sad and beautiful."
Then I reached the Zombie!Hanna thing and was all like, "oh, okay, I get it. happy ending with reunited friends."
Then came the "forbidden love" and I was all like, "...for serious?...what."
Aaaannnnd then the rest of it hit and I was all like, "*headesk* ooooooh. What you did: it is there and I see it."

I think my brain shut down for a few briefe moments there and I love you for it!
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010
Hahaha, well, I'm glad you were amused. XD
Reply
:iconskippy-the-demon:
Skippy-the-Demon Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
X3
Reply
:iconanameroma:
Anameroma Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2010
I think "kiss me, my zombie boyfriend" is the most awesome and ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Also, thank you so much for writing this, I was bawwwwing to death over the first five parts.
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2010
No problem, I'm glad people enjoyed it. :3
Reply
:iconhosekidragon:
HosekiDragon Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2010  Student Digital Artist
(am sitting in silence staring at screen)

You know Digi, I was all ready to handle another onslaught of angst from you and then...this happened...
My gosh...the satire came out of nowhere and smacked me in the face. Two bonus lives and a bazillion bonus point for that, my friend.
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2010
Ahaaha, thanks. XD
Reply
:iconunclekasu:
UncleKasu Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2010
OMG THANK YOU.
Reply
:icondesdemonakakalose:
DesdemonaKakalose Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2010
Call me dumb but...

I got that it's satire, but satire of what, exactly?
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2010
Satire of poorly written yaoi fics, wherein the characters just suddenly fall in love with no explanation. No offense to those who like such things and I don't mind a well-written yaoi fic on occasion myself, but ones that come out of nowhere can make the characters pretty OOC and be pretty bad.
Reply
:icondesdemonakakalose:
DesdemonaKakalose Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2010
AH. Yes, that works for me.

sorta thing bothers me too. Thumbs up for tackling an issue at large, so to speak. :D
Reply
:iconsabatuar:
Sabatuar Featured By Owner May 31, 2010
You just...you just...:iconfacepalmplz: Ack, Can't tell you how much I love you for writing this little satire epilogue for that long string of angst.
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 31, 2010
Ahaha, thanks. :3
Reply
:icongregorthegruesome:
GregorTheGruesome Featured By Owner May 29, 2010
I think it started so serious, but suddenly it just got more and more cracky!:D
It was indeed a happy ending:XD:
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 29, 2010
Haha, thanks.
Reply
:iconmilena-radio:
Milena-Radio Featured By Owner May 28, 2010   General Artist
I know this is just crack, but I really liked it, lol!!
Reply
:iconkaevit:
Kaevit Featured By Owner May 28, 2010
I won't forgive you for make me laugh until I cried while I was on the phone.
No, it's not my fault I was reading while on the phone - it's yours.

Jkjklol, I really loved this.
AND THANK YOU FOR POSTING A HAPPY FIC. DEAR GOD, THERE'S SO MUCH ANGST IN THE FICS NOW HNNNNRGHH.
So I appreciate the change. <3
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 28, 2010
Ahaha, sorry for making you laugh on the phone. XD Thank you for the comment though, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Reply
:iconanthrop:
anthrop Featured By Owner May 28, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I

What

YES.

Pfffhaha who cares this was awesome because zombie!Hanna is what this fandom needs so much more of.
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 28, 2010
Haha, thanks.
Reply
:iconpuck-sexton:
Puck-Sexton Featured By Owner May 28, 2010   General Artist
Oh, forbidden love.

I have not laughed. So hard at a fic. IN MY LIFE.

His heart is figuratively beating with LOVE. Hanna might be made for crack, but when even Ghallahad gives in to it, you know you're in serious trouble.

I love that even when you're writing something as ridiculous as this, it's still well-written. Obviously my favourite of this series. :D
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 28, 2010
Haha, thanks. XD
Reply
:icon0armoredsoul0:
0ArmoredSoul0 Featured By Owner May 27, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Started out beyond epic, turned into crack.
Still epic.
XD
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 28, 2010
Haha, thanks. XD
Reply
:icon0armoredsoul0:
0ArmoredSoul0 Featured By Owner May 28, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconzazu75:
Zazu75 Featured By Owner May 27, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
what
dood
WTF
i expected angst
i sat down WANTING READY TO CRY
instead, i HAVE CHORTLES.
what have you done.
....~<3
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 28, 2010
Haha, thanks. XD
Reply
:iconzazu75:
Zazu75 Featured By Owner May 28, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah, no dood. that was totally unexpected.
now go write an angsty ending! xP
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 28, 2010
No, Fair Enough was the real ending. XD The epilogue was a joke, it's not "canon".
Reply
:iconzazu75:
Zazu75 Featured By Owner May 28, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
oh ok.
*reads it fast*
why do you like the name Gallahad so much?
:0
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 28, 2010
I personally think it suits Zombie very well. It's a name that makes me think of gallantry and loyalty and I think it suits him well, plus it makes me think of a dashing knight or something. Also, Zombie said in the Q&As that Ghallahad is his favorite name that Hanna has given him so far.
Reply
:iconzazu75:
Zazu75 Featured By Owner May 28, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
ok, so since you like the name so much, i went and looked it up: [link]
makes sense of what you think, huh? xDD

and where is this Q&A and why have i not seen it yet? :0
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 28, 2010
[link] This is the Q&A. It is very long. A summary of the answers can be found here: [link]
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconladyvincira:
LadyVincira Featured By Owner May 27, 2010
I LAUGHED SO HARD. XD Oh man. XD The line about "Phil" nearly killed me. XDDDDDDD

And then "KISS ME, MY ZOMBIE BOYFRIEND"

I think I'm going to be shouting that at random all night. XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 27, 2010
Haha, thank you, I'm glad the line has such quotable appeal.
Reply
:iconeloarei:
Eloarei Featured By Owner May 27, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh man, I think I had about 7 different reactions to this, but I can't figure out which one is best, so I'm going to post them all. *nods*

--WHUT! DIGI YOU LIED! YOU SAID THERE WAS NOT GONNA BE A HAPPY ENDING WHEN, WELL, CLEARLY~~! PSH. TCH. GOSH DIGI.

--Look, see! Even you can't deny that their love is truly totally meant to be! I knew you'd come around some day!

also:
--*horrible outrage* Like, how dare you make fun of my favoritest pairing of all time! Becuz this was *huff* clearly *huff* a parody!! AND I AM LIEK SO TOTALLY OFFENDED! *rageplz*

But seriously. Haha. I really can't settle on one reaction. :XD: Partly it's hilarious, because, well, duh. But the beginning was nice, sad, and really normally-well written. (How misleading of you! *huff*) Oh, and it wasn't the Oompa Loompa line that got me, (because everyone's allowed a weird simile every so often), but the "Phil the Gallbladder worm" line, even though I can almost see Hanna doing that. ^^;
Oh darn, I had some more to say, but I've forgotten it.
Anyway. WONDERFUL ending to a lovely series, m'dear. =P
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 27, 2010
Haha, thank you. XD I'm glad it proved to be so entertaining all the way through, I feel accomplished~!
Reply
:iconwaltzqueen:
WaltzQueen Featured By Owner May 27, 2010  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
:iconhannaplz:
Very fun
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 27, 2010
Haha, thanks.
Reply
:icondrashian:
drashian Featured By Owner May 27, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
The first part made me cry and then suddenly I was laughing because it was amazing.

No lie.
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 27, 2010
Ahahaha, well, I'm glad my writing evokes such emotions.
Reply
:iconcaretaker-of-myth:
Caretaker-of-Myth Featured By Owner May 27, 2010
OH YOU.
Reply
:iconrosie88:
rosie88 Featured By Owner May 27, 2010
YAY!!!!

even sad stories get happy endings =)

granted it was a little silly but I still loved it.
Reply
:icondigi-writes-fanfics:
Digi-Writes-Fanfics Featured By Owner May 27, 2010
Haha, glad you liked. XD
Reply
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